Kael’s gotten a little bored with Baby Banger, so last time we went buy our closest Apple Store, we decided to pick him up a new game or two. Now, knowing like I do that the kids edutainment titles are WAAAY out of date (there are kids’ titles out there, still selling, that will run on System 7!) I made sure to check the system requirements very closely. Since I don’t run ANY OS 9 software, I don’t have the classic environment installed on any of our computers. When I purchase/trial/use software at this point, if it doesn’t run natively under OS X, and its a ‘new’ (meaning less then 3 years old) title, I don’t buy it.

We decided on Jumpstart Advanced – Toddlers for him, and the system requirements don’t make any mention of Classic. Here they are as listed on the box:

PowerMac G3 266 Mhz, OS 9.2.1 OS 10.1.5 OS 10.2.3, 64MB of RAM (128MB RAM for 10.1.2 and up), 16x CD-ROM drive, 16 Bit Color

Now, the stats for the machine I tried to install on are:

800Mhz G4, 10.3.7, 1024MB RAM, 40x CD-ROM drive, 32-Bit color.

Yep… my machine definitely meets or exceeds the minimum system requirements as listed by the publisher. With specs like that, I figure they just carbonized the game, so it will run under either 9 or X. So.. I buy it (after all, everyone knows that opened software is damn near impossible to return). I get it home, we open the box a few days later, and I throw in disc 1 to start the install… and… the system tries to launch classic!

I think OK, the installer wants Classic…no big deal, since the box didn’t mention classic, they must have a patch on their website to update to the carbon version, after all.. no responsible company would intentionally mislead consumers by not printing the correct system requirements on the box, right?

So.. its off to the website.. I check the FAQ..no mention of this product, let alone my problem… I look for any type of downloads/patches available for it.. nothing. So, I call the tech support number on the box…. and (of course) I end up in some over-seas, outsourced call center.. OK.. no big deal, Vivendi is a multi-national company, I can deal with speaking with someone overseas… I explain to the rep that the installer is looking for classic, even though the box doesn’t mention classic… I get transferred to their Mac ‘specialist’… so I repeat my story… and I get told that the system requirements are correct, but it requires classic… I explain that the system requirements CAN’T be correct if it requires classic, because classic isn’t listed on the system requirements! He tells me that is correct..but that it still might need classic..I ask how come its not on the system requirements? he says the requirements are correct (detecting a pattern yet? Apparently, their script doesn’t cover this situation).. so.. I ask to speak to a Supervisor… and I get hung up on.

Never one to leave well enough alone.. I hit redial.. and I get someone else. I go through my whole story again… and again ask to speak to a supervisor..making sure that I tell the rep that I was just hung up on when I requested a supervisor before. This time, I get told that there is no supervisor there, so.. I ask who the previous rep was trying to transfer me to when they hung up on me not even 5 minutes earlier? I get told it wasn’t a supervisor, since there aren’t any, but she offers to have a supervisor call me back inside of 24 hours (this is on Weds the 12th) —- Side note to people who decide to outsource their call centers overseas, if your primary market for a product is English speaking customers, you might want to make sure that whoever you are outsourcing to is hiring people who actually understand the language —

Since I’m getting no results from the tech support side, I figure I’ll try the customer service side….so I try that 800 number (its probably mid-afternoon now on weds.) and I get… Voicemail! they don’t even answer the phone! So.. I leave a message there also

So…. Thursday comes and goes with no call back from tech support or customer service…. Friday passes with no contact also (what can I say, I was feeling generous, I gave them 48 hours to call me back). I decide to call on Saturday.. I figure that they should have at least limited hours of operation on Saturday… nope…closed… no way to leave a message at tech support for the mysterious supervisor… so I call customer service… get their voicemail again…. leave another message.

I get home from work today… no calls from anyone at Knowledge Adventure.. (apparently, the adventure comes in trying to get the company to follow through on their commitments). So, I eat dinner, and call the tech support number again (at least I know that number actually gets answered…its useless..but it gets answered) I get a gentleman named “Howard”.. I give him my phone number and name (apparently, this is how they track everyone).. I ask to speak to his supervisor.. he refuses, He tries to tell me that my issue has already been escalated, and that I need to call customer service, he gives me the same 800 number that I’ve left multiple messages on without a return call. I explain I’ve already left them messages and they haven’t been returned, I ask to speak to his supervisor again… again he refuses, I ask him to give me the direct number of someone who can assist me, since apparently, no one ever answers the customer service number. He gives me the 800 number again.. Again I ask to speak to a supervisor, and I get told that since its 6:57PST the supervisor is gone. I explain that I know how call centers work, and I know that almost every call center requires a supervisor to be there until the queue is empty and all calls are done, and all calls can’t be completed until I speak with a supervisor…and since I asked to speak to his supervisor at the beginning of the call, and he refused to let me, I want to speak with one now. And “Howard”‘s story changes to the supervisor leaving early that day. I again ask for a direct number to someone who can assist me… and I get hung up on.

I go to Vivendi’s webpage…looking for some way to contact them, since they are the parent company.. and all the web forms for either tech support or customer service (the only options besides career opportunities and press relations) get routed to the tech support FAQs on their website… which don’t provide any useful information.

So I guess I have to spend some of my time tomorrow trying to get ahold of someone at their non-existant customer service department.

Anyone have the name and number of one of the US based executives? I don’t feel like making an international phone call just to complain about the misleading system requirements…