Ouch

So..surfing around today at work, I come across this article. Which seems to be a police blotter kinda thing for Lincoln Nebraska.. now, of particular enjoyment to me, was this blurb:

A 38-year-old Lincoln man showed up at BryanLGH Medical Center West on Monday, claiming he had been assaulted last week, police said Tuesday.

The man told hospital staff he was in the area of 28th and P streets Thursday when someone punched him in the head from behind and kicked him when he fell.

He said he temporarily lost consciousness and came to, only to find his pants down to his ankles.

An X-ray at the hospital Monday revealed a 20-ounce soft drink bottle lodged in the man’s lower intestine. He was to have it removed Tuesday.

Now.. don’t you think, that if you were assaulted, and had a plastic pop bottle shoved up your ass, that you might have noticed that something felt… different almost immediately.. I really can’t imagine it taking a week for someone to notice that they were having problems sitting, their ass was sore, and that they felt… full…

Textbook Lessons

So, how come the textbooks when I was in school never had lessons like this in them:

NEW DELHI (Reuters) – A textbook used at schools in the Indian state

of Rajasthan compares housewives to donkeys, and suggests the animals

make better companions as they complain less and are more loyal to

their “masters,” The Times of India reported Tuesday.

“A donkey is like a housewife … In fact, the donkey is a shade

better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to

her parents’ home, you’ll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his

master,” the newspaper reported, quoting a Hindi-language primer meant

for 14-year-olds.

The book was approved by the state’s Hindu nationalist Bharatiya

Janata Party government but has sparked protests from the party’s

women’s wing.

State education officials in Rajasthan, a western state known for its

conservative attitude toward women, said people should not be upset by

the comparison, the paper said.

“The comparison was made in good humor,” state education official A.R.

Khan was quoted as saying. “However, protests have been taken note of

and the board is in the process of removing it (the reference).”

And no, I can’t tell you where I found it.. since it was forwarded to me… but, it seems like good information to pass along.. remember donkey > wife!

what? No Announcements?

Saturday was Apple’s 30th birthday (Yay Apple whoo-hoo! Happy birthday!)

Despite all the rumors, Apple apparently chose to celebrate its birthday quietly with a few friends or something… because there were no earth shattering announcements..

Revised iPods? Nope

New Macs? Nope

Mac-TiVo? Nope

New Software? Nope

Nothing…nada…zip…zilch… how depressing…

I wonder if anyone got Apple cool gifts for its birthday, since it didn’t give us anything.

The New Must Have!

From the fine people that brought us Caffeinated soap… we now get:

Caffeinated Air!

Yes, now whenever you feel a need for a little pick me up… don’t reach for that cup of coffee or that can of Coke.. just pick up your handy inhaler and give yourself a zap!

Note the warning from the page:

Warning: Do not take more than 4 doses in a 24 hour period. Too much caffeine can be fatal. If any abnormal symptoms develop, please consult your doctor. Not to be used by children or pets.

Yeah..its an inhaler.. how the heck is your dog going to use it? No Thumbs! Now, if you have a pet monkey I can see the need for the warning..

Me..I want to see what happens when someone whose Asthmatic grabs for their inhaler and grabs the wrong one!