Today, March 14th is steak & BJ day.. (nsfw link) so ladies..take care of your guys! =)
Category Archives: Just Stuff
Wedding Contract
I saw this over that The Smoking Gun today…
And if you ignore the whole “on trial for kidnapping” thing.. the guy writes a pretty good contract.. I think as a belated anniversary thing.. I’m going to have Janice sign this..
Some of my favorite parts of the ‘contract’:
setting aside 3 hours every night for “my time”, and including specific don’ts that aren’t allowed during that time (Don’t raise your voice, don’t be condescending, don’t whine) along with specific Do’s (Totally obedient, Cheerful and adoring)
Selection of sleepwear (although, this is where some of the guys contract writing skills fall apart.. earlier on, he says that the wife must be nekkid within 20 minutes of the kids going to bed.. in the sleepwear section, he says the wife must be in her jammies within 20 minutes of the kids going to bed), really, he should have checked better for consistency..
Does make you wonder how the wife is not on trial for murdering him..I wouldn’t even imagine giving this to Janice (as anything other then a joke)
Simpsonmaker
Ever wondered what you would look like should you decide to drop in and pay Bart a visit? Now you can find out.. a handy, dandy Simpsomaker! (found the link over on Bruce’s page)
Darwin Award Candidates
Found this article yesterday about two people doing their best to be in the Darwin Awards for this year. From the article:
The two told Sheridan Police officers that a balloon filled with acetylene exploded in the back seat of the car. Acetylene is a highly flammable gas used in welding.
The two people filled the balloon with the gas in hopes of blowing it up at a Super Bowl party. The balloon exploded after rolling across the car’s backseat.
Yep.. you read that right.. these morons filled a balloon with a flammable gas used in welding (you know that is lit by a spark) and let it roll around to gather up static electricity.. and then they were apparently surprised that it exploded. Unfortunetly, despite their best efforts, they are not going to be qualified for this years Darwin Awards (yet, I’d image we’ll hear from these two geniuses again).since they lived through their stupidity…
More Firefly!
Well.. maybe..See, there’s this group who’s trying to get a second season of Firefly produced in either a Direct to DVD format, or for download straight to your computer. Right now, they are just trying to gauge interest. So go here and let them know you’re interested.
Jobs takes over Disney!
Well.. his first step towards taking them over at any rate.
Disney and Pixar officially announced that Disney will be paying Steve (and, the rest of the Pixar stockholders) about 7 billion dollars to have Steve come take them over… err.. I mean to have Pixar merge with Disney Animation.
Steve goes from being the largest individual shareholder in Pixar, to being the largest individual shareholder in Disney, and a seat on their board (next step, CEO.. probably by Disney’s next annual shareholder thingy)
Here’s the link to CNN’s article on Pixar taking over Disney =)
Sex Rage?
I’ve heard of road rage before, and I’d imagine everyone has.. however this is the first time I’ve heard of ‘sex rage’.
Of course… I suppose if I got busted joining the mile high club… I’d probably be a bit upset about it to….
Some of my favorite bits from the article:
Asked about the J$3.8 cost of the tryst Mr. Howes said: “I just hope it was worth it.”
The couple, who were booked on a two-week holiday, were held by police in Bermuda and on Wednesday put on a flight back to Gatwick where they were arrested. Now the pair from Luton, England face being charged with air rage and the £34,000 cost of diverting the plane.
So, what can we learn from this? First.. apparently the Jamaican dollar is worth only slightly more then a peso.. since a 3.8 million dollar (Jamaican) fine is only 34,000 pounds.. which means its about $60,000.00 US dollars…
Second- for $60,000.00…. that had better have been the best sex this couple has ever (and will ever) have…. because.. can you imagine spending 60 grand.. to have bad sex?
Third- I’m not the only person that thinks that.. see the quote from the Jamaican airport manager above…
Could be worse though… it could have happened to this guy, who dated his mom online for 6 months without knowing it was here, and didn’t find out till the night of their ‘romantic rendezvous’…
Waxing Story
So… Sarah sent me this.. she claims it didn’t happen to her… but… it does sound like something she’d do…
(Absolutely hilarious, but kinda long..so you’ll need to click the read more thingie to get to it)
Funny Links
So, I found these links while I was at work yesterday:
This one from Craigslist – My favorite section:
A girl’s gotta’ eat. I mean, if she tries to pass celery and peanut butter off as a meal one more time, I’m calling someone.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m married, and this chick lives in Austin.. I’d have responded to this ad, I found it hilarious!
This one from the Sun. Just in time for the Holidays.. turn your iPod into a vibrator! Hey..if you’ve got a new video iPod… you can get everything at once..watch your porn while cranking up the volume to speed up the vibrator!
The £25 iBuzz connects up to the gizmo and pulses while each tune is played.
And last, but not least… don’t you just hate it when your Mom is right? Canadians have done a test that confirms that if you get cold, it makes it more likely for you to get a cold..
And getting your feet wet, they found, can triple the risk of developing cold symptoms such as sore throat, sneezing and coughing.
You know what this means? the end of nude skiing, and having sex outside in the middle of a blizzard..
Oh yeah.. in other new World of Warcraft has been updated to 1.8.3 and they’ve added a little launcher thingy..says it scans for virus and cheat programs… presumably that portion is winblows only
New Clothing
Japan appears to have come up with a solution to their energy problems.. see, they are asking people to just turn the heat down in their office buildings/homes/etc..
I hear you asking now “But, how will those poor Japanese people stay all warm and toasty this winter if they turn the heat down?” The answer is right here.
Yes, the Japanese have invented a heated bra! No more waking up in the morning, and having to worry about your boobs being cold all day, just throw the pads in the microwave for a few seconds..then throw ’em back in the bra.. and toasty warm breasts..and if they get chilly again? just whip those pads back out.. toss ’em in the microwave in the break room.. and then reinsert! What could be more simple?
Uhh..seriously.. do you girls really worry that much about the temperature of your boobs? First, we had the bikini that was supposed to keep your boobs cold, now we have the bra to keep them warm. If you’re indecisive, do you sew the two together and have one cold boob and one warm boob?
I mean.. c’mon.. I’m a big fan of boobs..but I think its gone a little far when you’re designing special garments to adjust their temperature.. you don’t see air conditioned or heated Men’s underwear now do you?